i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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