I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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