I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
