I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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