And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
