your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize