I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
