Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
