dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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