Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
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Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
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He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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