Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
