seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
