Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize