I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I wish there were birth control emojis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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