He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
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I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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