ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
