Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize