I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
