i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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