Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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