Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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