If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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