If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
you never un-have a 4some
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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