On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
