he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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