I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
