with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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