Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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