Little spoons don't ask big questions
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
