when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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