you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
