hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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