to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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