she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
now i know why i became what i already was.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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