He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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