Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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