it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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