Define "chronic" masturbator.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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