you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
