I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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