So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
