He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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