I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize