Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
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