Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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