Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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