my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
