I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I spit up blood this morning
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Sexist Restaurant Owner Tells Woman To ‘Keep Her Legs Open’ After Firing Her
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
We have so much sex to catch up on
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
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I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.