do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex