Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.