I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
