Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize