Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
