okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
