she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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