That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
