I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
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The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
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i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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