We should be called the Road Head Warriors
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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