and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Dick very happy bro
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
