Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
