Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
third nipple confirmed
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
