If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
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