dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
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