This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
