It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
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