no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
