Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
