i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
