If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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